Your roommate agreement should cover things like rent, utilities, overnight guests and parties, but few contracts go as overboard as Sheldon Cooper’s infamous – and perpetually evolving – roommate agreement on The Big Bang Theory.
Looking to inject a little humor into the conversation when you broach the topic with your new potential roommates? Check out a few of Sheldon’s best rules for successful roommate relationships (you can even buy an abbreviated copy on Amazon with extra pages to make up your own rules!).
1. Past 10 p.m., you must refrain from hootenannies, sing-a-longs, raucous laughter, clinking of glasses, barbershop quartets or celebratory gunfire.
After all, it is reasonable to expect some form of “quiet hours” in a typical roommate agreement – everyone should be able to get a good night’s sleep in their own home.
2. Pets are banned with the exception of service animals, such as cybernetically enhanced helper monkeys and seeing-eye dogs.
If your lease allows for pets and one or more of you choose to exercise that right, the person(s) responsible for its care – and expenses incurred if it causes any damage – should be specified in your agreement.
3. [Roommate(s)] must provide a confirmation sniff to tell if questionable dairy products are edible.
This food-based rule is pretty funny but completely valid in a solid roommate agreement. You’ll want to answer questions such as how responsibilities for cooking and shopping should be shared and how you’ll keep your food separate.
4. The occupancy of the shower is deemed to be one, unless being attacked by water-soluble aliens.
With luck, there’s no need to worry about sharing a bathroom, but since that’s often not the case chore charts related to cleaning duties or shower schedules for overlapping mornings are things to consider when drafting.
5. In the event that a roommate invents time travel, he or she agrees the first stop is to appear exactly five seconds after this clause of the Roommate Agreement is signed.
Proof that roommate agreements can be as unique as the people who draft them!
6. Roommates shall give each other 12 hours’ notice of impending coitus.
TMI notwithstanding, typical roommate agreements do address things such as overnight and or/frequent visitors to the apartment. Things to consider include how many nights is too many, where guests will sleep and what to do if a regular visitor eats a significant portion of the residents’ food.
Notable clause from Sheldon’s agreement: A girlfriend shall be deemed “living with” Leonard when she has stayed over for A) 10 consecutive nights or B) for more than nine nights in a three-week period or C) all the weekends of a given month plus three weeknights.
7. Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon’s brilliant new series, “Firefly.”
Sheldon had some grand ideas about how long Whedon’s futuristic space Western would last, but it’s still important for roommates to address things like TV viewing.
Questions to think about: What happens when someone is entertaining a guest in the living room on an evening when another wishes to watch TV? Should usage be agreed-upon in advance or scheduled?
